Love Letter to OSU Rec Sports

Dearest OSU Rec Sports,

How do I love thee? Let describe the ways in non-poetic sentence fragments:


Your facilities are cavernous and full of new shiny machines that are programmed to turn on when I sit down.


You have a ROCK WALL.


You have not one pool, not two, not even three but FOUR pools. Michael Phelps is jealous (it was one of the reasons we ended our relationship).


There are TVs to watch to distract me from the pain i'm feeling when i'm working out.


Finally, you hold soccer tournaments for young fit intelligent (i'm assuming) male specimens that I can watch while I'm exercising. I forget that I'm exercising.   I forget to breathe sometimes.


                               Love Always,
                Crohie With an Overactive Imagination